My Immortal Chapter Two - LOLWUT?

I seem to enjoy having my brain raped.

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

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ENOUGH WITH THE 666 ALREADY!

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

Okay, okay. First of all (+1 Costume Porn). Also (+1 Continuity Fail). Willow woke up and grinned at Ebony, and then opened her eyes. LOLWUT? Also another (+1 Costume Porn)

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Draco?” she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade.” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.

(+2 DNDTR) 2 points for this. One for the concert in Hogsmeade and another for this: Draco is a pure blood wizard. He would not bother messing around with muggle bands, WHICH DON'T EXSIST AT THE TIME OF THE POTTER VERSE. So another (+1 DNDTR)

I can sense that I will go insane soon.

Final Tally (including Chapter 1
Final Tally
- Costume Porn: 2
- Self Insert: 1
- Mary Sue: 1
- Dictionary/Thesarus Rape: 0
- Bitch: 0
- ROFL: 0
- Wait? What? Whoa...: 0
- Continuity Fail: 1
- Purple Prose: 2
- Did Not Do The Research: 5
- Department Of Redundancy Department: 0

My Immortal Chapter One - Costume Porn ahoy!

Righio, Chapter One of My Immortal.

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

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Well... I guess that isn't so bad. I didn't include a spelling count, otherwise I would be here all day.

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!).

Oh boy. (+1 Purple Prose). Lovely description there Ebony. Oh yeah (+1 Mary Sue) for the overly long name.

I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black

... Okay then... She's a vampire... but her teeth are straight and white. Aren't vampire teeth like that anyway? (+1 DNDTR). Also, bit of a self insert? Tara loves MCR, as does Ebony... eh, what the hell. (+1 Self Insert)

I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.

MY EYES! (1+ Costume Porn) (1+ Purple Prose). Also (+1 DNDTR). Doesn't Tara know that there is a UNIFORM AT HOGWARTS! ARGRFGUEWFDGFEWGUFWGUFEUGFDUHFEWUOTEWUOY;TEWOIU *blows up*

.........

So sorry. Right, where was I?

I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Ebony!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

“What’s up Draco?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Well... at least it finished okay...

My Sanity Meter will be very low by the end of this.


Final Tally
- Costume Porn: 1
- Self Insert: 1
- Mary Sue: 1
- Dictionary/Thesarus Rape: 0
- Bitch: 0
- ROFL: 0
- Wait? What? Whoa...: 0
- Continuity Fail: 0
- Purple Prose: 2
- Did Not Do The Research: 2
- Department Of Redundancy Department:

Introduction

Hello!

Welcome to Bad Fanfiction Sporker, where I will be sporking bad fanfics and raping me of my sanity in the process.


I have three FFs that I will be sporking (the list will increase)
- My Immortal
- Twila, The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre
- Brewdening Love


I will also be keeping a tally whilst I am doing these sporks.

- Costume Porn Whenever the author describes clothing in extreme detail

- Self Insert Whenever the author has "inserted" herself into the story

- Mary Sue Whenever the protag is acts like a Mary Sue (This will not be low)

- Dictionary/Thesarus Rape Poor dictionary/thesarus...

- Bitch Whenever our charming protags act like a complete and utter bitch

- ROFL Whenever something is funny, and makes everyone laugh

- Wait? What? Whoa... Whenever something spectularly stupid/shocking happens.

- Continuity Fail Whenever the author fails to keep continuity

- Purple Prose Whenever something that isn't clothes is described in detail.

- Did Not Do The Research Whenever the author fails at research.

- Department Of Redundancy Department Whenever the author repeats themself.

I think that should do it. First fanfic I will be sporking: My Immortal.

God help me.